Being the best version of myself, consistently, day in and day out, is very tough. It is far from something that comes naturally to me, even now after years of personal development. The only means by which I know how to give myself the chance to show up is by following a daily morning practice. Here’s what mine consists of:

Journaling

Waking up early and making a cup of green tea is one of my favorite daily rituals. I use loose leaf tea from China with jasmine buds. The green tea is much kinder on my stomach than other kinds of teas or coffee and provides a mellow buzz.

As my tea is steeping I sit down in my favorite chair in the living room and get out my journal. I use a Moleskine, unlined. It is not inexpensive, but I’ve decided it’s a worthy investment given the value I place on my time writing each day. I have gone through more than 75 of these black books over the past decade.

As I pour myself a cup of tea I begin to write, always starting with where I am and the time of day. Then I launch into my feelings. It is a check-in with myself. I write sloppily; barely legible, even to me. I don’t care. The point is to get my thoughts out, not to write for an audience, or even myself. (I have read few of my entries.)

This type of writing is helpful to me, as it slows down my thinking. I cannot write as fast as I think, so it causes me to be a bit more thoughtful. This creates a form of self-reflection that is not innate. I become an observer of myself and gain a higher perspective. In other words, it builds consciousness.

I write whatever comes to mind. Sometimes there is a lot. Other times I struggle to make my pen move over the paper. Typically I will allow myself ten minutes. In these entries, I often advise myself or work challenges out. At the very least, I become aware of what’s coming up for me by answering one of my favorite check-in questions: ˆWhat is it like to be me in this moment?”

Meditation

After I’ve processed my waking thoughts through journalling, I settle into a light meditation. I began meditating regularly more than a dozen years ago and have found it to be invigorating and infuriating.

Early on, I struggled—as most do—with my understanding of meditation and the process. Am I doing it right? How will I know when I’ve succeeded? Once I learned that what mattered most was the discipline of keeping awareness—not expecting to remove all thoughts—I began to slip into a deeper, extraordinary state. I saw visions and had massive breakthroughs. It was so good I wanted to do it longer each day. I even considered going to a monastery where I could meditate all day, every day.

Then, I stopped seeing visions and began to feel like I couldn’t sit still, even for ten minutes. I indulged my mind’s wanderings and felt shame at my mental weakness. I’d feel worse after a session. But I kept it up, and, eventually, I it became a positive experience again.

I realized that meditation is no different than any other aspect of my life, it can go either way depending on the phase of of life I am in. It isn’t a panacea. It just is. But it undoubtedly (and scientifically) has a profound impact on neural pathways–creating new levels of awareness that carry over into what I’ll call “real life”.

There have been times when I’ve fallen off the meditation wagon. Usually I begin to notice a difference in my reactions to triggering events within about three days. My capacity to respond from my whole self decreases and I’m much more likely to be reactive.

I meditate most days for 12 minutes. If I’m pressed for time (always a bad sign), I do a shorter sit (a “mini-medi”, I like to call it). You can find me on Insight Timer, an app for tracking your meditation that offers bells as well as stars for hitting milestones (something my ego loves!). Insight Timer has a wonderful community with appropriate social tools. If you join, please connect with me and we will see when we are meditating at the same time, wherever in the world we happen to be.

Prayer

After I complete my meditation, I love to recite the Serenity Prayer. It goes like this:

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

The Courage to change the things I can;

And the Wisdom to know the difference.

I love the Serenity Prayer for its cogency. It is undeniable and so important for someone like me who, in shadow, believes that I can control the Universe. It reminds me that not only this is not true, but that I can relax into that awareness. I also struggle at times with decisions or conflict, and the next line reminds me to be courageous. And then it ends with a reminder that I’m gaining wisdom as I become more conscious in both of these areas.

I sometimes then pray for learning during my day or for clarity of my path. Perhaps I recognize a need for more compassion—of others or myself. Prayer can be about anything. And it takes very little time.

Does it work? Unequivocally so, in my experience. Though often not when or how I would expect. I recommend reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s The Energy of Prayer if you are interested in learning more.

I grew up in a non-religious family. We never went to a formal place of worship and I felt like those who did were wasting their time. Our god was achievement and intelligence. My intelligence didn’t include much natural EQ, however, and so I had to learn.

Recognizing my spiritual side has been quite a journey. Even today, after years of connection, I sometimes doubt this version of reality. It often happens unconsciously, where I push hard to make something happen, expecting my intellect or will to be the solution. Until it is not—and I am humbly reminded of my limitations.

And so I continue, each day, forgetting, remembering again, and practicing, or not. But I find as I travel this cosmic journey through “real life” there is nothing like my morning practice to fall back on. I hope you can find your own process that supports you as mine does me. Perhaps it includes some or all of these practices, or perhaps it is entirely different. There is no right way except your own. The only thing that matters is seeking and doing in service of your being.