It is not easy, or common, to talk  about our past and how it has influenced how we move in the world. Especially in business. Therapy and dipping into our history to see the modes of being we have picked up from those who have influenced us is still counter cultural in business. And yet, to Evolve consciously, we must know who we are, where we come from, and what we need to do to continue growing.

Standing like statues at the gates of the office we walk into are the monolithic imprints of our parents and where we came from. These archetypes of work and movement speak to us, telling us how to find purpose and make the world our own—what choices to make, what to sacrifice, how to be joyful and free, how to lead, how to follow. They form the rules we follow at work and in the broader world.

Many of these rules have been passed down through the generations, from our father’s father’s father, so to speak. And often make us feel limited and unfulfilled, as if we are dutifully going through the motions. Sometimes, we wake up and choose another path. Sometimes, we are compelled subconsciously to move across the country or do something radically different, to take risks, to succeed at the sacrifice of all else, to forgo the burden of being the “first” child in the family to go to college and find success. And so we move and are moved. But we always have the pull of some ghost as we move along the path, on behalf of our family, toward wherever growth and development end.

How we relate to the world exists in two areas: our sense of movement and purpose, and our relationships and connection. Some of this is mysteriously gifted to us through birth, or karma. Our little personalities are born out of the womb, and we are fussy or peaceful, hot or cold, even or volatile, loose or tight. There are elements of personality that are beyond our conscious control.

Then, there are the things we pick up along the way. Things imprinted by those who we were the most open to being influenced by: our initial caregivers and parents.

When we look at how we move in our career, there is an aspect of traveling our parents’ road. I am watching myself make similar moves at the same times my father did. Even as I orbit farther away from his path, some elements remain the same. Career choices, interpersonal dynamics, and subtle parallels follow me as I try to reconcile a deep family pattern that isn’t inherently bad or good.

As we slowly wake up to these patterns and rules, things change. The same obligations don’t make sense. The same compulsions don’t hold. We make similar choices, but our orbit gets slightly larger. Some choices match the family rules, some don’t, orbiting a bit farther out each step of the way.

My drastic sense of individuation and movement around the world makes sense. I see the arc of growth—it stretches back to the old country, my ancestors moving from faraway lands for a better life, until my point in the line. At some level, I hope my children will escape the orbit even farther. What that means, I’m not sure. Maybe they’ll be artists. Maybe they won’t go to college but live simply and freely as fishermen in the Gulf of Mexico. Maybe they’ll act and be free of the burden of self-analysis because their parents did so much to heal and grow.

In fact, it’s inevitable. They will. And then a new cycle will begin, in which their children look at them and seek to grow beyond them, again and again, orbiting out toward wherever we are all headed.